I'm on a personal journey.
It's a journey of focusing my creativity.
This is not an easy journey.
I have been quoted as being a "renaissance" woman by a very close friend in a card she gave to me for my birthday once.. And, it's probably one of the highest compliments a friend could give you.
It's true.. if I can make it, I won't buy it. Albeit, if it's cheaper to buy it.. then I'll probably ...still make it. This is what happens when your brain is in a constant creative state. You always know when there's something you can make and why wouldn't you because when its made, it has more heart in it.
But, this journey.. It's not one that has an end, I don't think. I don't think I can visualize it as a map and pin point where the road ends. There's a very real possibility this is a lifelong internal road trip .
And I have been that woman standing in Home Sense looking at a coat rack thinking.. I know exactly how to make this and where to get the material for it. $15 Not bad.. Put it in the cart. Circle the store. Put it back. I can make it tho.. for $20 ..(nevermind the $20 in diesel I'll burn driving to the four different stores for the supplies). When you shop with me, THIS is what goes on in my head! At every . SINGLE. store. It does not stop.
So. I spend a really large part of my day tending to my tribe and my teepee. I spend a minute amount of time tending to my creative process. It's very common for it to get sloughed around in the mix of bills, kids stuff , laundry and the search for dinner. And I'd like to say I could pick up a passenger for this wicked ride I'm on.. cuz you know we's be drivin a slick VW van.. pimped out with carmel leather seats , all white with chrome accents… and who wants to drive that fun bus alone. Not me. But, not even my sweet sweet hunny of a hubby can help.. Well, maybe a tad. But that's besides the point. Cuz this biatch has got to hone this in.
Some people don't know I paint or illustrate. and thats cool cuz not everyone needs to know. I don't do fine artwork. I'm certainly not a master. Though, I do consider my little family illustrations mini masterpieces. (Ya'll aren't that easy to capture!) But, I haven't been "out there" in a serious way for very long. And a lot of the time, people don't know I do these things because I am a mommy/wife and there's no real balance to that and getting the time to create is tough. Three year olds don't necessarily let you sit down and draw or concentrate on a painting for hours.. It's not fair to them and I just end up frustrated, anyways.
Now , this is where I stand. With two little strings pulling on each side of me. My family duties holding one and my creative heart with the other ..each tugging away in different directions. What i need to do is find a way to braid these ropes together and make room for it all. Now, how , pray tell, do i do this!?
Then I saw this in my photo archives.. and I guess I need to remember that this is my small beginning..
and slowly , I'll be able to focus on my creativity journey and not let the line be drawn so boldly between my real world and what I think is my dream world . But I know that my real world is my creativity and it's not going anywhere. And I wouldn't want it any other way.. just a little less static...
When i've come up with some concrete plans for how to braid those fine strings.. I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, if you have any suggestions on how to make it all work .. let me know! Comment in the section below. I'd love to hear from you. xx